Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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