I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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