Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
