Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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