i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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