sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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