all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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