So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
