you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
