I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So vagazzling was a success
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
