I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize