So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
