And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
