What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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