some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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