He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
