Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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