i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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