I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
