You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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