Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize