How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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