I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
