he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize