Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
