I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize