he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I love having hate sex.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
