I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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