She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize