I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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