If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
