it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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