Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
