No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
