wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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