the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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