Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
