It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
