xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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