I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
