Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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