my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
