My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
