turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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