so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
