dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
