hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
