Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize