I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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