terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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