I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
