Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
