I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
