I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Randomize
