What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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