he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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