He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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