my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Boobs are out for the taking
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
