Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
