First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize