goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
