You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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