I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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