it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
